Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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