it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
