The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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