yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
