The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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