Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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