Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My penis needs a shock collar
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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