Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
