Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she looked like the before picture.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sex in a hospital.. check
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
