I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
