I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
