Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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