Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
