Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
