The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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