the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
