Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
