what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Randomize
