I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
