Cold hands, warm shart.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
