I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
MIDGETS
????
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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