I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Couch. On fire.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
