wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
