So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
