I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
