there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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