R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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