I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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