If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
