that's an acceptable place to lick
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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