you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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