i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
