I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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