So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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