four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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