So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
