you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
