just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
