I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
