people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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