He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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