Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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