Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
