alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
