You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
