This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
