I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
