plz talk dirty to me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
