I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
