I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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