i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
